Recently, a friend of mine on face book posted this verse. Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. I stared at the verse for a long time reading it over and over. I wasn't sure why I was so drawn to the verse but the word weary kept jumping out at me. I decided to look up what weary means; it means feeling or showing tiredness, especially as a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep. To be come tired or wearied by a situation, tired, wearisome, tiresome, exhausted, fatigued. It hit me right in gut. I have been struggling lately and just couldn't find the right word to describe how I was feeling until that word Weary was right in front of me. It was like a light bulb was turned on and I said to myself, yes, that is exactly it! Weary. What a great word to describe how I feel right now.
Weariness is more than just feeling tired. I am reminded daily of how different our lives are from what you would consider the "normal" and have become weary in wishing or hoping that just one thing would be easy. I am weary from wanting things to be different and that my son would find a place were he would feel excepted . I am weary from lack of sleep, being woke up numerous times a night to help Ryan turn over in bed. I am weary watching my mom continue her fight against cancer. I am weary as I watch other people in my life fight sickness. I am weary of seeing so many people I love struggle.
These feelings are not new, I have been on this roller coaster before and know that it will pass and I will be okay with it all but for now I can not give you wonderful words on how I have overcome these recent feelings. I am not to that point yet. So what to do in the midst of all this? I continue on and try as the verse says not to give up. I am holding onto this promise found in Psalms 27:13, I am confident (hope) of this; I WILL(expect) see the goodness (answer) of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait, take heart and Wait on the Lord. HOPE, EXPECT, ANSWER,WAIT!