Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Well-meaning intentions?


It’s that time of year again, Prom. We see the pictures of beautiful girls dressed up, escorted by their handsome dates. No doubt we also see the videos and pictures of beautiful girls asking a boy who has special needs to the prom. Posted on social media. We read the comments under the photos such as “So inspiring”, “In tears.” 

While I appreciate the thought and understand the motivation behind these acts of kindness, my heart is torn. I don’t understand how this is considered inspirational, and I too am brought to tears, but not for the same reason as those who are commenting.    

I see these events from a different perspective. From the eyes of a mom whose son has been brought to tears by these acts of “kindness.” A mom who had to comfort and console her son. A mom who had to wipe her crying son’s eyes because he didn’t have the physical strength to lift his arms to do it himself. A mom whose son was deeply hurt by “friends.” I know they didn’t start off to hurt him. I cannot tell you what their true motivation was. Whether it was compassion, kindness or they felt it was their Christian duty. The motivation does not matter. What does matter is in the end my son ended up feeling like he was nothing more than a project.  

He does not want to be a project, or the recipient of your good deeds. He wants what we all want. True unconditional friendship. Friends who truly care, who are willing to go the distance.

My intent is not to take away from these events. Anytime our kids are included in what you would consider a normal part of life it touches our hearts. There is a time and place and I appreciate those willing to take part in them. I have a teacher friend who worked hard to make this happen for her special needs student. It is a great lesson for our teens to look outside their little world. The problem is these events are just that, a one-time event. 

Just be careful, your well-meaning intentions may not have the results you desire. No matter the ability or disability these are real people with real feelings and emotions. They would love nothing more than a friend who wants to be part of their life, not just for one event but for real and for life.

What would your motivation be in befriending someone with a disability? I encourage you to contemplate your purpose. It needs to be motivated by nothing less than unconditional love.


Originally posted on http://www.keyministry.org/

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

4,000 miles without incident, I guess we were due.


Over 4,000 miles behind us.  6 weeks away from home without any issues I guess we were due.

Sunday afternoon, we arrived at Long beach Ca, and set the RV up. Jeff was due to fly out the next day so we figured we would have a relaxing evening.

Unfortunately, the RV decided otherwise. We just finished dinner when we heard a clicking noise. Then it stopped, we looked at each other, wondering if we were imagining things, then it did it again. We started following the noise to see where it was coming from.  It was the slide in the back bedroom.  It slides out when we are parked and slides in while we travel. It was clicking like it was trying to close, only we weren’t pushing the button. 

Jeff went into “crew chief “mode and started to problem solve. We spent the next hour checking wires, trying to open and close the slide. It had a mind of its own, it would shut when we hit the open and open when we hit the shut button. At one point it was moving back and forth without us even pushing the button. He disconnected the switch and after trouble shooting some wires decided the switch was bad.

The next morning, Jeff went to the store to get a new switch, certain that would fix the issue. It didn’t!  Of course, it couldn’t be that easy right? About now we are within an hour of needing to leave for the airport, running out of time he disconnected the motor under Ryan's bed. He would have to deal with it in a few weeks when he came back.  Only a few minutes later we heard the clicking noise again. How? The motor is no longer connected.  We once again followed the clicking noise and this time it lead us outside the RV, in the basement area. He opened the bay. The noise was coming from the slide controller. Surrounding  the controller was fresh  mouse droppings, should have been a clue to what was wrong. He disconnected the controller, and when he pulled it out, a liquid poured out… mouse pee! GREAT, the stupid mouse pee was causing it to short out! Crazy! At least we knew what the problem was.  He had no time to fix it now. He would order a new part once he got home and have it shipped here.  

While Jeff was cleaning up the area in the bay, I went outside to see if he was ready to leave for the airport.  I noticed water leaking, more like pouring out under the RV. I asked him what the water was from, he looked under the RV and said “I HAVE NO IDEA! There is no water or plumbing in that area.”  Once again, Jeff went into “crew chief” mode in supersonic speed. There was no way he could leave with water pouring out under the RV. Jeff opened the other bay and frantically searched to see what the was going on. I stood there praying, “God you know what the heck is going on, you know Jeff can’t leave like this, please make it obvious real fast what the problem is so Jeff can fix it”.  A few minutes later Jeff said, “This makes no since at all, the fresh water tank is disconnected and pushed forward”!  He did manage to pull it back into position and get the hoses hooked back up. No more water leak. Crazy huh?

Jeff quickly gathered his stuff, it was past time to leave for the airport.  Thankfully we got there with time to spare. I got out of the van to hug him good-bye. He said, “The airplane better not break”!
Jeff is home safe and so far no more issues with the RV either!

Crazy few hours. I am so thankful all this happened while he was still here. I don’t know what I would have done if he had already gone home.  While the timing of these events wasn’t the greatest I have no doubt, God was watching out for Ryan and I! He allowed these things to surface while Jeff was still here to deal with them.

You can pray that when the motor arrives, I can get it connected and that it works. Also, Jeff set some mouse traps in that area, I have not opened it up yet to check them. I am praying almost as much that there are NO mice in the traps that I will have to dispose of! EEK!

Also we have been hearing about the "Storm of the year" . It is supposed to hit tonight and into tomorrow.  Heavy rain and possible flash flooding . While I am not too worried, our RV is sitting right by a wetland/marsh.  So praying the storm of the year doesn't create some unwanted memories ! 

For those who are visual, like me here are some pictures.

Ryan, Princess and I hanging out. Waiting to ride out the "storm of the year"! This is also the area where the slide is located. 

The slide, with a mind of its own. 



Here is the bay, the basement where the slid switch is AND where the dreaded mouse traps are! 





Saturday, March 10, 2018

We leave behind a little piece of our hearts


Hard to believe our time in Texas is coming to an end. Jeff arrived in Austin early Saturday morning so of course for our last Texan meal we had to take him to our new favorite BBQ joint, Rudys BBQ.


Texas has been such a wonderful adventure, we will drive away full of memories and at least 10 lbs heavier!  Enjoyed a lot of good food and so thankful for the time we had with friends and family.  Does our heart and soul so good.

Ryan said,"mom, getting out really does help my mental health!"  You have no idea how many times I have tried to get him to understand that. While in Washington he never wants to leave the house.  I am fighting back tears thinking how much life I have seen in Ryan over the last few weeks! I am not sure what started his desire to come to Texas, but i'm glad for it.  Feeling extremely emotional , I struggle to find the words to express how much this precious time together has meant.  While it was Ryan's desire to see Texas, it has been my desire to pack Ryan up and runaway, to get away from everything and just enjoy life . God has truly given us the desires of our hearts.

I asked Ryan to name a few things he liked about Texas.
1. Getting his tattoo
2. Seeing a movie at the Alamo Cinama
4. Eating at Chuy Mexican restaurant
5. Touring the capitol building

Just a few added observations. Texans like to honk their horns. You can drive 85 on the Toll roads. Handicap parking is free. The road system here in Austin is crazy. H.E.B. the best grocery store with the best homemade tortillas. All the restaurants serve delicious green chili cheese dip.  When they say sweet tea they mean SWEET tea! In Washington there are coffee shops on every corner, here there are taco trucks.

While we are saying good-bye to Texas, at least for this trip, , our adventures are far from over. We are going to spend a few days with Jeff's parents, grandma Kitty and grandpa Wayne at their winter home in Hope Arizona.  Making a little pit stop on the way to check out Carlsbad caverns in New Mexico.  After our time in Arizona we will be heading to Seal Beach, California. Jeff will set us up at a campground on the Naval station, then he will fly back home, dang work!  Ryan and I will stay there for a month.  While we have no plans for what we will do or see in California I am sure we will find lots of adventures to share.



Saturday, March 3, 2018

6.State Capitol, and time with friends and family

We've been busy the past few days. Tuesday my friend Elizabeth drove up from Buda to have lunch with us.  Wednesday toured the Capitol Building . Thursday we drove down to San Antonio for my nephews promotion ceremony. Friday, My nephew Nick, his wife Erica, their daughter Natalie, my dad and Coral drove up to Austin to hang with us and have lunch.


On Wednesday we toured the Texas Capitol building.  Although it was in the warm in the 80's it was very cloudy so my pictures don't show the beauty of this building.

We were able to find parking right across  the street. 




The African American memorial . 

The goddess of Liberty. She sits at the very top of the Capitol dome, she has a sword of justice in one hand and a gilded Lone Star in the other.



Our own private accessible entrance in the back. 

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The Rotunda and dome.  On the floor are the six seals of the countries whose flags have flown over Texas. France, Mexico Spain, the Republic of Texas, the United States and the Confederate States of America.

The dome is 218 feet above.



Ryan looks very authoritative behind the desk in the Governors room


There are steps to get inside the Senate chambers and Supreme courtrooms so for accessible entrance you go inside a little room off the side of the hallway. That is where you find these little elevators.  When we opened the door to the room it was dark so I reached inside to turn on the light, only to find this Texas Ranger sitting in the corner. Scared me half to death! He just looked up and said, Howdy, I was just taking a little break in the quiet room. I'm like right, you were taking a nap! Anyway he jumped up and helped us figure out how to use the elevator.  He walked with us through the Senate chamber. Told us the Senate is quieter than the House of Representatives, mostly because they are old and have been there forever . Not everyday you get a personal escort from a Texas Ranger :)



While inside the building we heard chanting outside on the grounds of the Capital. Ryan was curious as to what they were doing .  He kept asking me what they were doing I said go ask them.  He actually did. If you know Ryan this was not easy for him to do. He asked a few questions and we had a nice conversation. While we don't agree with everything she said we were able to listen with an open mind and gain a little different perspective. Honestly, once we stared asking specific question and what she felt would be a good solution she didn't have any good answers either.

Thursday we drove to San Antonio to watch my nephew Nick get promoted to Smsgt.  Very proud of you!  I'm glad the timing was right that we were here for this. Also was good to see my dad and meet Coral. They flew to Texas from Florida to be part of this event as well.


Monday, February 26, 2018

5. Ryans the first of the Mckenzie boys to do this.

I promise I won't post updates everyday but this is worth posting.

This has been on Ryan's must do list for the past 2 years. For some reason he wanted to wait until we got to Austin to get it done.

A TATTOO!!




He woke up this morning and said lets go today!   I suggested we go in to talk with them and then decide.  He asked a few questions and then said, lets go for it! He was pretty determined it was going to get done today and well, it did!





His tattoo means "STRONG" He wanted it on his hand so he could see it.

I am actually surprised he went through with it. He didn't even flinch.  The guy was very nice and patient and talked Ryan through it. When he got done he said to Ryan, "Thank you for coming in today, you made my day ".

Sunday, February 25, 2018

4. We are in Austin!


WE ARE IN AUSTIN!  

We so much enjoyed our few days in Abilene with our friends Mark and Karla, their youngest daughter Lacey and her husband Aaron. 



Mark, Karla and their 3 newest babies 
Some friends you can go years without seeing, yet when you see them again its like it was yesterday. That’s Mark and Karla. We were stationed with them in Missouri and I spent many summers babysitting their 3 girls.  I should say hanging with the girls. Jake and Ryan were babies and the girls pretty much entertained them for me 😊 I loved that I got to see their youngest Lacey and her 2 little ones. So strange to see those you babysat now grown and having kids of their own. Time goes by way to fast.






We left Abilene with our hearts full and yet a little sad. Not knowing when we will see our friends again. They tried hard to convince us to move to Texas! I think they have Ryan agreeing to it, they went above and beyond to make him feel comfortable. I don’t think it would take much to talk Jeff into either. He was like a little kid sitting at their kitchen table watching the deer roaming their backyard. 

Jeff is flying home tomorrow, so he can go back to work, someone needs to support our adventures. Ryan and I will be hanging out in Austin for 2 weeks.  We’ll see what we can find to do. Any suggestions?

A little story that touched this moms heart.   Lacey’s little boy, Evan is 3 years old. He was fascinated by Ryan’s chair, the different buttons and how Ryan could make it go up and down. When Ryan drove his wheelchair up the ramp into the back of the van he thought that was the greatest thing! Later that night when Lacey was putting him to bed, he said “Mom, I think Ryan is a Super Hero and he has the coolest chair!”  LOVE the childlike innocence. Most children are curious about Ryan’s chair. I wonder what happens to adults that cause them to go from the childlike curiosity to being afraid of ,or turning away from someone in a wheelchair.

Childlike curiosity, what a beautiful thing. He didn’t see the wheelchair as being a disability but a means of Super Hero ABILITY! 



Thursday, February 22, 2018

3. Texas!




SNOW IN TEXAS?



I thought it was warm in Texas instead we were meet by snow!! Crazy huh? Even so, we crossed the border into Texas yesterday, spent the night in Lubbock and today arrived at our first Texan destination. 

We will be staying here in Abilene with our good friends Mark and Karla. We met them while stationed in Missouri. One great thing about the military is you make fast and longtime friends!  We will be here until Sunday, then onto Ryan’s bucket list destination Austin. If you know any “must see" or “good eats” in Austin let us know! I’m ready for some good Mexican food and BBQ!

I guess we can’t complain too much about the weather. It looks like we were just in time getting out of Tacoma since they have had rain/ice/snow for the last few days. In fact, we managed to stay just ahead of a few winter storm systems. Today was the only day we didn’t have dry roads and for that I am thankful.

We are ready for a few days of rest and to give our bodies a chance to catch up to the 2 time zone changes.  It will be nice to not have to get up and on the road bright and early tomorrow.  

Everything has gone as expect and uneventful.  Jeff worked hard to prepare the RV for our trip. And for that I am extremely grateful. 







Tuesday, February 20, 2018

2. My maiden drive of the RV. Day 2,3 and 4


Day 2: Yep this happened! If only I would have put on an extra layer of deodorant first! 




I started off my maiden drive at a rest stop, knowing the next one was only 30 miles away. I thought, I can do 30 miles, right? The road was straight and no mountains to climb so no time like the present to try my hand behind the wheel.

It wasn’t too bad. Even though I had to fight the wind I did manage to finally loosen my grip on the steering wheel, slightly. Until I would see a Semi truck coming up the side to pass then I once again had a death grip on the wheel. Those big ol' semi trucks made me nervous. They would pull up beside to pass  and you would feel yourself being pulled into them. And they are SO CLOSE!   That is when the extra layer of deodorant would have been a plus!

30 miles went fast and as we approached the rest stop, the sign said the next one was 30 miles. So, I decided to keep going. After all, I did 30, I can do another 30. All in all, I ended up driving 90 miles. Not bad for my first time out! 

The rest of the day went by fast. This part of California is miles upon miles of fruit tree groves. I am always impressed with the perfectly straight rows of the manicured trees. The trees were already full of  pink and white blossoms. 

Jeff and I both got a chuckle out of seeing a police officer pull off the exit road. Get out of his car, open the back door of the car to let his “partner” out for a little potty break!  His 4-legged partner that is! Not sure why, that made us both laugh. Guess you gotta go when "doodie calls"!

Day 3 and 4 are  blurred together. Uneventful which is good. The scenery went from lush green farm land in Northern California to dusty, dry ,brown desert in Arizona, then into New Mexico the dirt and landscape turned red and rocky   There was snow on the ground in the high desert mountain passes but thankfully the road were dry. 

Desert Mountains Arizona

Last night, Monday, we stayed in Needles Ca. Never heard of it? Not surprised. I think the KOA campground ( gravel parking lot)  was the only thing there.  Tonight, Tuesday, we were planning on stopping in  Gallup NM. But upon arrival in Gallup there was snow on the ground. The morning temperatures were predicted to be in the single digits so we gassed up the RV and headed a little farther down the road to lower elevation, hoping to find warmer temperatures.  We finally stopped in Albuquerque NM.  Still cool temperatures but a least we will stay above freezing.

These long stretches of nothing makes me extremely thankful we have an on-board potty! Cause the pit stops are few and far between on this stretch of highway.


Sunday, February 18, 2018

1. On the road


Good morning from sunny Red Bluffs California!

Let me back track just a little.

We originally planned on leaving Saturday morning. Jeff was at work friday morning and checked the weather. Noticing a storm system was moving into the mountains late Saturday evening, about the time we would be going through them. So he called me from work and said, can you be ready to leave today!?!?

All the months, well years of planning and we were finally on the road! I had butterflies in my stomach as we pulled out. This has been a dream in the making for a long time!  The older Ryan gets the more Jeff and I were feeling the urgency in making this happen.

The first half day , Friday was spent battling traffic, pretty much all the way south to Eugene.

Yesterday was the first full day on the road. It was spent going through mostly mountain passes. The highest elevation was around 4,000. The roads were dry, which is what we were hoping for.
Southern Oregon and Northern California are beautiful. 

It was good to see that Lake Shasta is full of water again, When we drove through here 2 years ago this looked more like a little creek than a lake. 


Pretty uneventful first 2 nights in the camper.

Ryan is very happy with his little bedroom suite, all the comforts of home! This morning was a little chilly, so we went to turn on the gas heater and for some reason it wasn’t kicking on :( Jeff spent some time problem solving, finally you-tubed it and it is now fixed! Pays to be married to a retired airplane crew chief! The good thing about these RV is all the comforts of home. The bad thing is you have all the maintenance and issues as a home!

Today will be a shorter day on the road, and no significant mountains to climb. I might even get behind the wheel for a short time! pray for me, or should I say Jeff !! LOL!

Yesterday as we were pulling out of the gas station an RV passed us. I said look at that big dog sitting in the front seat, only as it got closer I noticed it wasn't a dog, it was a big white goose!! Crazy people!

Gotta go.. Jeff just came inside and I got caught! Am supposed to be getting ready to pull out. 

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Blizzard of 1985.

All these news stories of the extreme winters and snow has brought up memories of living in Minot  ND for 10 years. I have a lot of memories of our Minot winters but one in particular stands out. 

 It was a year after Jeff and I were married and let’s just say, it was a big test of our newly formed marriage!

It was winter of 1985. We were living on Minot AFB, which is about 12 miles from the town. The highway between the base and town is very open and flat. When it snows, and the wind picks up it becomes impossible to drive the stretch of road.  It was Saturday and Jeff had weekend duty, working on the flight line in the subzero temperatures.  He was supposed to be off early because we had a wedding in town we were to be in.   As the day went on, it started to snow. The weather was rapidly declining, and Jeff still wasn’t home.  The later it got, the more nervous I became, knowing the roads were getting bad.

Jeff finally got home from work and we had a very quick “discussion” about trying to make it to the wedding. Jeff wanted to stay home, partially because he was frozen from working in the cold all day and because by this point we had blizzard warnings. But I insisted we HAD to go, we were in the wedding!  He changed into his tuxedo then went out to warm up the car, only it wouldn’t start, the engine was frozen.  I went out early in the day and forgot to plug it back in (yes we had to plug our cars in).   Which meant we had to drive his car, which really was only meant to drive on the base. It was not what you would call road worthy.  Once again, we had a “discussion” about going and once again I was insistent.  

We drove very slowly into town, all the while the snow was falling, and the wind was whipping.  We finally arrived at the church, just in time to stand in the back and see the end of the ceremony. We didn’t make it in time. I felt awful and wanted to stay at the reception for a few minutes,  but this time Jeff was insistent we needed to leave immediately to get home. 

Now it was full on blizzard. We really could not see a thing!  I tried to convince Jeff to turn around and we could stay in town but at this point there was no talking him out of driving home. The drive home was slow and very nerve wracking, I  don’t know how we didn’t end up in the ditch, but we managed to make our way every so slowly down that highway home. 

After a long stressful drive, we finally made it to the turn off for the front gate.   We could not see the guard shack because of the blowing snow but we could see the light so we knew we were almost home!  As we approached the gate a military police peeked out of the guard building, he looked like he saw a ghost. He came to the car and said," I didn’t expect to see anyone out here tonight!  What on earth are you doing out on these roads!" Then he asked to see our ID cards, well guess what I forgot! Ghost or no ghost, you must have an ID card to get on base. No ID card meant we had to go to the visitor center, so Jeff could vouch me on.  We drudged through above knee high snow drifts, freezing cold wind whipping through us as we made our way to the building.   Jeff in his tuxedo, and dress shoes. Me in my formal long dress. 

By this point, Jeff was at his max peak of being peeved with me! I wonder if a part of him wanted to leave me at the gate!  

We did make it home to our little mobile home.  But guess who forgot the key? We were locked out.  Jeff had to tromp through the deep snow drifts to get to the back door which he then proceeded to break down. I’m not sure it took much, all that saved up anger aided in that! We were cold, wet and tired.  THEN the final straw. To top off the very long, cold, wet, miserable day, our sewer pipes froze!  Do you know how you thaw frozen sewer pipes in a mobile home? You cut them off and bring them inside the house to thaw!  YEP !  That was one for the books for sure!   It’s a miracle our marriage lasted that weekend!!!