Sunday, August 23, 2015
My mom has been gone for over 2 years, yet yesterday I had a very vivid memory of her. I felt like I was dreaming even though I was wide awake.
It was during her last few weeks of life. She was at the hospital in the hospice room. My sisters and I took turns staying with her through the night, not wanting her to be alone. This particular night I stayed with her. It was not a good night for my mom. She was extremely restless and agitated. Nothing we did would calm her. It seemed like the more medicine the nurse gave her the more agitated she became. I just remember feeling helpless, and praying our way through the night. I was so thankful when the darkness of the night slowly faded away as the light of the new day began to form. I prayed that this day would be better. That she would be able to get some rest and feel relief from whatever was upsetting her so much.
That morning my sisters and dad returned to the hospital. The team of doctors that were in charge of her hospice care wanted to have a meeting with the family. Knowing we didn’t want my mom to be alone, especially after her difficult night, the doctor walked into the room followed by an older lady. I cannot remember if she was a nurse but he assured us that this lady would sit with my mom and take care of her while we were gone. We left the room feeling sure that she would be watched over. About 45 minutes later we walked back into the room. The moment we entered you could feel a since of peace and calm. The women was sitting right beside my mom, rubbing her arms and singing softly. My mom was peacefully sleeping. The most at peace she had been all night. I wanted to cry. I was so thankful that my mom was finally able to get some rest. The women saw us enter the room, very quietly got up and walked out of the room. We never saw her again. I don’t know her name or where she came from but I have no doubt God sent her to minister peace and calm to my mom.
The last few weeks of my mom’s life were very difficult. I think during an extremely difficult emotionally draining time you enter into what I call survival mode. It’s as if your mind puts a protective shield about you so you can do what you need to do. Now over 2 years later little memories are coming back. That particular moment with my mom was probably one of the hardest emotionally and physically. I have not allowed myself to think about that night before. It caused too much sorrow. Now enough time has passed there is not as much sorrow attached to the memories and I am able to see a little moment of joy.
One little note about that "angel" that sat with my mom. She was an older Hawaiian women. The song she was singing was in Hawaiian. The neat thing about this is my mom and dad lived in Hawaii for 3 years back in the 1970s.. It was during that time that God truly became Lord of their lives. It changed not only their lives but our families as well. During mom’s 7 year battle with cancer, they were able to go back to Hawaii a few times for mini vacations. Hawaii always held a special place in my moms heart. Those trips always seemed to bring her peace. I love that God brought in this Hawaiian “angel” to sing Hawaiian songs to calm moms’ heart. He knew exactly what she needed. God never forgot her. God truly cares for the intimate details of our lives. Sometimes it takes a little time and distance before we can see the precious details.