Recently, a friend of mine on face book posted this verse. Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. I stared at the verse for a long time reading it over and over. I wasn't sure why I was so drawn to the verse but the word weary kept jumping out at me. I decided to look up what weary means; it means feeling or showing tiredness, especially as a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep. To be come tired or wearied by a situation, tired, wearisome, tiresome, exhausted, fatigued. It hit me right in gut. I have been struggling lately and just couldn't find the right word to describe how I was feeling until that word Weary was right in front of me. It was like a light bulb was turned on and I said to myself, yes, that is exactly it! Weary. What a great word to describe how I feel right now.
Weariness is more than just feeling tired. I am reminded daily of how different our lives are from what you would consider the "normal" and have become weary in wishing or hoping that just one thing would be easy. I am weary from wanting things to be different and that my son would find a place were he would feel excepted . I am weary from lack of sleep, being woke up numerous times a night to help Ryan turn over in bed. I am weary watching my mom continue her fight against cancer. I am weary as I watch other people in my life fight sickness. I am weary of seeing so many people I love struggle.
These feelings are not new, I have been on this roller coaster before and know that it will pass and I will be okay with it all but for now I can not give you wonderful words on how I have overcome these recent feelings. I am not to that point yet. So what to do in the midst of all this? I continue on and try as the verse says not to give up. I am holding onto this promise found in Psalms 27:13, I am confident (hope) of this; I WILL(expect) see the goodness (answer) of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait, take heart and Wait on the Lord. HOPE, EXPECT, ANSWER,WAIT!
Monday, September 3, 2012
I am not a teacher nor do I have the gift of teaching but for many reasons ( I will share more detail in that later), I am feeling God pull me to home-school Ryan for this coming school year . It is not a surprise to me, I have been fighting and ignoring this feeling for sometime now. I have finally surrendered, knowing this is what God wants me to do.
Over the years my boys have had many different teachers. I can tell you from experience that there are those who just do the job, and then there are those who have a passion, a gift for teaching.
My friend Laura has the gift of teaching. I just wanted to share a little in-sight into the mind of a teacher through a phone conversation I had with her recently. We were talking about my decision to home school Ryan. I was saying how unprepared I felt and she was giving me encouragement. We talked about how Ryan and I just recently went to Northwest Trek that Ryan loved to watch the bald eagles. She said homeschooling Ryan is as easy as taking that interest and turning it into a learning experience. I said, your right I can have him look it up on the internet! So much for my great teaching ideas. So here is where the great teaching mind comes in; She said Yes, that is a start but go even further. I then heard excitement in her voice as she began to speak. She said you can easily do a unit study on the Eagle bringing in science, geology, history, art, and even English into the lesson. By this time she was really excited, I could just imagine her face lighting up as she continued to give specific details on how to do it all. I listened and then started to chuckle. Yes, she has the gift of teaching and it was fun to hear all the ideas she had that I would have never thought of. It is funny how she took that one small thing and turn it into so much more, that's the mind of a gifted teacher!
While I am not a teacher, nor to I feel equipped to do this job I do know that for now I will become what Ryan needs. As the saying goes, "God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called". I am holding onto that truth and thankful that there are a few of those passionate, gifted teachers in my life that I can hopefully call upon when I need help!